Lunch Time Madness

There must be a full moon tonight because against my better judgment I went to Wal-Mart on my lunch break. There are two things wrong with this story from the get-go. One, I disdain Wal-Mart with every fiber of my being. Two, I rarely leave my office and take a lunch break. However, I needed items only Wal-Mart sells for what I deem an affordable price, so off I went. I actually got a decent parking spot, which never happens. I guess when you go shopping in the middle of the day there are some perks. I grab a cart and start to push, but then I realize I’m not moving, and neither is the cart. It might as well have had cement blocks for wheels, because it was not going anywhere. I remedy this situation and proceed to the housewares department. As I’m strolling along trying not to stare at the “people of Wal-Mart” I notice boxes on an end cap that claim to have a couch inside of them. Now I must stop and see what this is about. Do you add water and it grows? Turns out it is inflatable, but has a suede texture so it looks like the real deal, and all for only $29.99! I move on, past the bins of candy, to the display rack of kettle corn which is sad to say my weakness. I want so badly to grab a bag, and quickly throw it in my cart. It’s only $3, it’s not that big of a deal, no one will know. But I think healthy thoughts; veggies, fruit, bikini season. Then I move on to happy thoughts, looking fit in a bikini, unicorns, unicorns wearing bikinis, and I continue on my journey, far away from the evil kettle corn stand. As a reward for my willpower I decide to get some sea salt pita crackers. Take that craving temptations! Round house kick to the face…..who’s your daddy now? Feeling empowered I gather the rest of my supplies, and hit the checkout line. Wal-Mart during your lunch break is never ideal, but a small victory was had today.